


Falling

by landocalrissian



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 10:49:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11251572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/landocalrissian/pseuds/landocalrissian
Summary: Cassian had never fallen in love before. Sure, there have been different people from different bars on different planets after different missions, the touch of lips and skin under the cover of darkness. But every time he was sure to wake up alone.So when he opens his eyes to soft lips, a callused hand on his chest, a warm smile, and he feels bathed in sunlight to his very core; he knows the truth. And Cassian says three words.





	Falling

**Author's Note:**

> My second work for bodhicassian week! The prompt was First Times. I tried all day to write something cute and fluffy but wasn't inspired so I guess this happened. Enjoy!

Cassian had never fallen in love before. Sure, there have been different people from different bars on different planets after different missions, the touch of lips and skin under the cover of darkness. But every time he was sure to wake up alone.   
Sometimes there would be a glimmer of it. His eyes would linger too long, his heart would pull him in the direction of a friend, a smile that told him there could be something there, something more, but every time he would shut them out and leave them behind wondering. Or they would leave him behind, another sacrifice of the rebellion on the battlefield, another one of Cassian's everything's, gone. 

So when he opens his eyes to soft lips, a callused hand on his chest, a warm smile, and he feels bathed in sunlight to his very core; he knows the truth. And Cassian says three words. 

"Bodhi, please leave." 

Bodhi immediately stops, pulling back with wide eyes. 

"What did you just say?" 

Cassian closes his eyes and turns away slightly; the shock of cold space between them knocks the air out of his lungs. Cassian feels like he's falling, lightheaded and unbalanced. 

"I just... I need... please, Bodhi. I need to be alone." 

It takes a moment for Bodhi's face to collapse, registering the words. Cassian keeps his eyes closed, his heart beating in his ears loud enough that it would have blocked the sound of Bodhi's feet against the floor as he made his way out of Cassian's room. 

That's why he's surprised to open his eyes and see that Bodhi was still there, looking at him with such a profound sadness that Cassian's will almost cracks. He can't bring himself to say anything more and just stares. 

"Cassian...Oh Cassian," Bodhi says softly. Cassian looks away. 

"No, I won't do that." 

When he meets Bodhi's eyes again they gentle but stern. 

"I can see what you're doing and no, I won't leave. You're not as good at lying as you think. I know you Cassian." He pauses, tapping his fingers on his leg. He gestures around the room, which contained little evidence of an individual living there. "I know you. What do you have? What do you have that's yours?" 

Bodhi rubs his arm and looks down, then looks up with less intensity.

"I know what it feels like to lose something good. I know what it feels like to lose everything. And this, this is something. Even if you don't want it to be. If you want to do this, we can lose it now, or we can lose it later. Maybe. But don't you go and think that either way is any different." He looks down for a second, a hand through his hair and a few deep breathes. He looks up and the honest depth of emotion in his dark eyes hits Cassian with full force, and he can't breathe again. 

"I love you. Pushing me away won't stop that. I love you, and if you still want me to go, I will." 

Cassian doesn't move. He doesn't breathe, doesn't think, the words rushing past him, around him, everywhere until he feels they are a part of him. He loves me, he loves me, Bodhi loves me.   
Cassian has been falling. He's been falling his whole life, able to ignore it as long as he kept his eyes closed tight. And now, Bodhi, his Bodhi, so beautiful and brave and strikingly honest, is still there before him, and he never wants to look away. 

Cassian covers Bodhi's hand, moving up his arm light and slow until his fingers caress his cheek, his forehead, his nose, his lips. Moving his hand to cup his neck, Cassian's lips follow. He ends with a kiss, firm and honest, grounded in Bodhi's warmth. He barely moves away, his eyes open, feeling open for the first time in his life. They share breathes, neither willing to look away. 

"Of course I love you, Bodhi. How could I ever not love you?" Cassian embraces Bodhi, holding him tightly in his arms. 

"I'm sorry, please don't leave," he says quietly, barely a breath. Bodhi waits a second before moving his arms to hold Cassian. 

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."


End file.
